Thursday, 27 June 2013

Abdullahi's recount from ratburger

I was in the toilet with Armatige then Tina Trott arived. then she came and banged on the toilet door. I came out of the toilet then she told me to come out of the toilet . "Get out now!" said Tina Trott then she put her hands in  my pocket then she was shouting . When Tina got her hand out of my pocket. Then she found the rat hanging from her hand.


2 comments:

  1. I liked it. I think it should be a little longer though.

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  2. You could try using dramatic sentences to make the reader feel frightened or petrified. Good use of fred talking. That's what I did and I ended up with the word 'Armatige' as well. I'm not sure if that's correct or not though.

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